Becca The Unashamed Alcoholic

The Recovering CEO  0:15  
Good morning. Hello, everybody. Welcome to the recovering CEO podcast. My name is Derek I am the recovering CEO. And today I'm here with a special guest and fellow redhead from Canada. She's Irish. She is sober. She is Becca, the Unashamed alcoholic. And good morning, Becca.

The Unashamed Alcoholic  0:34  
Good morning. Thank you so much for having me. It's so nice to meet you.

The Recovering CEO  0:37  
Well, thank you for being here. I know we've never met in person. We've just seen each other on Twitter. I follow the recovery posse hashtag right. That's probably where I met you.

The Unashamed Alcoholic  0:47  
Yeah, it's a great what a great group. It

The Recovering CEO  0:49  
really is. Really is and I love that a right you got your Canadian accent

The Unashamed Alcoholic  0:55  
that's showing already I'm so embarrassed.

The Recovering CEO  0:58  
Yeah, yep. So Rebecca, so you like hockey and Daryl Hall and John Oates.

The Unashamed Alcoholic  1:03  
That's that's pretty much sums me up. Yep.

The Recovering CEO  1:08  
That is awesome. Have you seen Hall and Oates in concert?

The Unashamed Alcoholic  1:11  
Oh, yeah, I think I'm close to 10 times. Now. I just went to a drove to Connecticut in December with my dad to see them two nights in a row. So I'm poor now because of that trip. But yeah, I now when I go see haul notes, I make sure I'm within the first few rows like I don't I need to make eye contact. They need to see me that I'm there. Like pretty sure at first they have a restraining order and chemistry. Sure.

The Recovering CEO  1:39  
That's great. I'm sure they're I'm sure they're flattered. But, you know, so tell me so. So we're both in recovery, which is great. Right? So we have that in common? You have done a lot even since you got sober. Right? You talk about it, you say, you know, I'm divorced, doing all the things I've always wanted to do. You know, your mother, I mean, tell me a little bit about your, your story, like what are you doing now? And then we can kind of go back and talk about what you were you know, what brought you here?

The Unashamed Alcoholic  2:09  
Yeah, I mean, when I think about it, like it's kind of it's I mean, it's totally mind blowing to think that what's been what I've accomplished, since being sober and how life has changed, you know? And sometimes I think, like, Where would I be if I hadn't stopped drinking? I mean, pretty miserable. First of all, very unhealthy. And in a lot of still unhealthy relationships. One of them being, you know, the marriage I was in. And, you know, it wasn't the separation, that divorce, it was amicable, they were both ready. It wasn't one sided thing, but what brought me to the realization, you know, I was three, three, almost three years sober when I left, and it was, you know, it had been a long time coming. But sobriety really helped that happen, because, I mean, I think a lot of people can agree, when you get sober you start, you just start you learn who you really are, and what you want, and what you what you like, and what you don't like, and you know, you just kind of start cleaning house and going, Oh, well, this doesn't feel right anymore. I don't want to live like this anymore. And it was kind of like that, there was nothing to cover it up. You know, there was no, you know, my friend wine to help, you know, get through whatever miserable, miserable nights or fights or whatever there was, it was just, you know, time to time to move on. And recovery and sobriety have shown me who I really am and what I wanted of life. And so that's just been huge, so unexpected. I just thought like, well, I'll stop drinking, and I'll never have fun again. That was my thought when I did like when I really first got sober. And in reality, it's been a wonderful, coming up to five years experience of everything, you know, vacations and concerts and sort of unholstered and renewed sense of life. You know, I'm sitting in my new house, want new old new to me, that was that I bought, you know, on. That's mine now it's just me and the kids half the time. You know, I have a job I like I have supportive people in my life. You know, I started dating 14 months after we separated so that was all new because I've never dated sober anymore. So like all of it is so everything that's happened since getting sober has been new and wonderful and terrible because of all the feelings and but also just really welcomed. You know, none of it even even those terrible moments are welcomed, because they're real. Everything's so real now. So it's been it's been ever like, you know, every day, there's something new that you learn about yourself in recovery, I think so it's just it's just a constant, evolving thing, which is beautiful.

The Recovering CEO  4:57  
Yeah, I always say sobriety gives you the gift of awareness. So one of the biggest things, you know, yes. And, and before we're a dysfunctional relationship, I would drink over that. Right then then you know, you have to feel it. And then we process it. And we realize that's not how we want to feel. So then we have exactly create the life you want.

The Unashamed Alcoholic  5:16  
And you know, when you feel things now you like you said, you have to go through it. You have to, like figure out like, what am I feeling? You know, how can I get through this? What can I do to navigate through this? You know, how do I share what I'm feeling rather than just like quietly numbing it or ignoring it or whatever? Now you actually like, deal with things like what a novel idea?

The Recovering CEO  5:39  
Yeah. So you say you're coming up on five years? What's your sobriety date?

The Unashamed Alcoholic  5:43  
It's my birthday, which is July 18. So I stopped drinking. July 18 2017 2017.

The Recovering CEO  5:49  
Okay, great. So I'm curious, have your kids noticed a difference in you have commented,

The Unashamed Alcoholic  5:55  
you know, they're too young to remember me drinking now come, you know, it's been almost five years, and they're only 10. And and I wasn't drinking to like, you know, they wouldn't find me passed out on the couch or something like that. But I, you know, I was drinking definitely around them all the time. You know, kid, even kids, even their own birthday parties, I would make sure that we're serving wine. But there too, there were too young to remember, because it would they would have been five and then three, so they wouldn't they wouldn't remember that.

The Recovering CEO  6:30  
Sorry. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, to remember, but I think that

The Unashamed Alcoholic  6:33  
there has been an impact on them. Because I'm very open about it with them. They know about the podcast, they want me to make a YouTube channel so that they can be rich and famous. So somehow out of my broadcasts, I don't don't think they quite understand that. But, you know, I'm very open with when I talk to someone that they might be interested in, I share it with them. You know, I just met a, an Ottawa Senators player the other day because of you know, we're both in recovery. And I told them why we were meeting like, I'm very open with them about it. And so I think that that has certainly an impact on them. Because like, no one talked about sobriety or alcoholism when when I was young like that, those are not sobriety was never an option presented as an option. Alcoholism was shish shish, shameful. family secrets, right? And so now, I mean, it's a totally different side that they're, they're seeing and hearing. So, you know, we talked about it sometimes talk about, like, they might mention, like someone, you know, someone was drinking or whatever. And I just say like, you know, you don't have to, you won't ever see me doing that type thing. And, you know, not like, I'm better than but just a reminder, you know, we don't remember we don't have alcohol in our house. And how do you feel about that? Or, you know, my son said something the other day, too, that was kind of hurtful to another kid. And I said, you might want to like, remember that someone might use your mom's an alcoholic as a as an insult towards you one day and like, how are you going to? How are you going to sort of present yourself after that? What do you say to that? Like? No, because it could happen and, you know, again, like that word is not I'm trying to teach them that that words, not a bad word. It's not something we need to shy away from. So I think, you know, they see a different side of it.

The Recovering CEO  8:22  
Yeah, for sure. You know, and I've always talked to my kids about it. I was, you know, they used to sit in the back of meetings, their little DVD player their headphones on, because they did not want to listen, just to watch it watching movies. I've changed diapers and meetings. I mean, all that. That's great. Yeah. So it normalizes it. Yeah, it does. It does for sure. And then also sorry, just you know, so you were dating you were dating sober. How did you tell your significant other that you were in recovery? When did that come up in their relationship?

The Unashamed Alcoholic  8:52  
Yeah. I thought you know, evolves right, like it sort of changes. I think you kind of feel out each person but what's nice is that on the dumpster fire of dating apps, now you can put you can you can select you know, whether you're sober or you don't drink or whatever, like there are options for that either. Like I think it was Bumble it has the the the wording sober as an option of like a drop down menu when you're checking like you know what your height is and what your interests are, whatever. And so when it comes to alcohol or smoking or whatever, they have the option of sober which I loved so I put that I mean, I would be very upfront about not drinking and all of the many profiles I had, it was always front and center. So it because I didn't want I didn't want anyone up. Also, no one reads them. So I wish I came to work often not noticing that even though it was right there. But I was right up front. I first first time we're talking I'm going to tell I get that, like, I don't drink. Sometimes I go to AAA and I have a podcast where I'm very open about it. Because what's the point of hiding this if I have a podcast where I'm very not hiding it, so it's almost like it's too, it's a hypocrite fenit Almost hypocritical that I wouldn't be, you know, this is one of my hobbies, basically. It's kind of like half of my life is, is talking about my alcoholism. So felt like, also if this is going to bother you, like, I'm not going to waste any time. So I wanted to weed out people pretty quickly, you know, from what I saw, it didn't. No one was scared off by it, which was great. I assume people wouldn't be but I was, you know, it's like when I told anyone that I am an alcoholic, or I don't, don't drink or I had whatever. i My immediate fear always was people are gonna judge me or hate me or whatever. And it was never the case. No, at least not to my face. But like, no, no one ever was so supportive. Yes.

The Recovering CEO  10:59  
Do they have a category on these dating apps? Where I'm like, a heavy party or 420? Friendly anything like that?

The Unashamed Alcoholic  11:06  
Yeah, a lot of them do. They say I mean, they have like, if some of the things it'd be like heavy drinker or whatever, or, or frequent or whatever. And now people would put 420 friendly in there things, you know, you can write, pretty much write anything you want. So, instead, stay away from those when you would fit what you're looking for. I'm not gonna go with someone who's like, drinking, drinking heavily all the time. I don't think we're gonna match.

The Recovering CEO  11:33  
Yeah, well, I

The Unashamed Alcoholic  11:34  
don't need to be with someone who doesn't drink entirely either. I just, it has to be there. We have to find that balance that works.

The Recovering CEO  11:41  
Yeah. Yeah. It's funny. Because when I met, my wife was right when I was a year sober. And she had all these visions of like, she was gonna open a bottle of wine and make dinner and then all this romantic stuff. And on our on our first date, I'm like, oh, yeah, no, I'm an alcoholic. Just let's put that to rest. Right, you know,

The Unashamed Alcoholic  12:01  
exactly. Well, and it helps to, like start, like, those conversations are in a way of like, well, what does that mean? Like? Do you always, like wanna have a drink? Or? No, you know, like, Are you struggling? Are you? It? Can Can you be around it? Like, you know, so it starts a lot of questions for sure. Which is, which is fine. I'm happy to answer them.

The Recovering CEO  12:21  
Yeah. And I love that you're talking about it? Because like you said, it's always been the family secret. Like, let's not talk about that. That's our personal business. Let's be quiet about that. And I do believe it's hereditary. Right. So has there been any alcoholism in your history? Like, hereditary wise?

The Unashamed Alcoholic  12:40  
Oh, yeah, for sure. I think we I mean, we know definitely, like one. One family member, very obviously was suffering from the the effects of alcoholism and passed away. Then there's definitely a handful of others who maybe aren't quite so open about it, who are still around. And then, you know, me, it was like, why can't I talk about this, like, you know, we talk about, you know, other things that we have happened in our lives or that we've experienced and, you know, we're proud of and that was what the weird thing was, when I got sober. It was like, Well, now, you know, Zipit, like, Now now, you could talk about going out and having a few drinks or feeling hungover the next day, you could talk about, you know, being getting drunk with your friends, like, all this stuff is socially acceptable to talk about, but like, it'd be like, hey, making the announcement like, you're, I'm sober. I'm, you know, I'm one year, celebrating one year, all these things like it was like, great, just, you know, we don't, we don't really announce that kind of thing. And there's that. But I've done more work on myself in the last few years, and ever before, I'm happier than ever before. Why can't I talk about why? And so that's what led to where I am today, essentially, because I was just like, This doesn't make sense. Why would we keep this kind of good? Good side of it a secret?

The Recovering CEO  14:10  
Yeah. And so you have a podcast and you're pretty vocal on social media. Have you ever received any pushback from people who say, Oh, you shouldn't talk about this or don't use the word alcoholic?

The Unashamed Alcoholic  14:20  
I do I post the most drama I drum up is when I say anything about AAA because it's like it's anonymous. Like Wow, all right, like that's okay. I mean, if you want to keep the stigma and shame attached to an alcoholic then sure like encourage that but for me, it's like first of all, I can say whatever I want about my own story, you know, period point for now. I can always say what I'm doing. I'm not going in saying anyone else's part of it like I'm talking to me and I also think it's important to D stigmatize that like one. Every alcoholic is not part of a A to, you know, it's not like it's not mandatory Right? to I can be an alcoholic in recovery and use a when I feel like it, which is what I do now I go to meetings every now and then when I feel like seeing friends or sharing, or I just need that comfort of the community because that's to me what recovery is. So key for me is the community. It's these conversations. It's the podcast, it's the Twitter recovery policy, sometimes AAA meetings, it's that community, it's people, people help me, these conversations helped me so when I need a little swim in that pool, I jump in. But you know, some people are like, you shouldn't be doing this step and you shouldn't like that never interested me. So I'm like, a bad AAA member, because I'm not gone on doing this. But like, you know, what, I fully believe that people should be doing what works for them, you do your journey, how you see fit. That so that anytime I talk about that, that sort of like people are like, You shouldn't be talking about it, you know, you're not allowed the anonymity mark, like so that that drums up a lot. And then other people don't like when I label myself an alcoholic, but it's also what I am. And I'm, I want to take that word back. Because for so long, even for me, before I accepted that, I had a totally different idea of what it was, you know, the what you see in movies and TV, and like, why can I call myself that but like, you know, you shouldn't be labeling yourself, you shouldn't just be Think of yourself as a substance use disorder instead, whatever. I mean, again, we I don't tell anyone what they should do. And no one should be telling me what I should do. So I just kind of want to put it out there that like this is what works for me, this is what I'm comfortable using and saying and I want to say this stuff, the AAA stuff, the recovery journey, whatever and the label because I want to normalize it, take the shame and stigma away from it. And the more we can just have these normal conversations like we're having today, the less confusion and misunderstanding and stereotypes there will be around it in general.

The Recovering CEO  17:13  
Yeah, I totally. I totally agree. I can I really think actually, it's on trend. I don't know if you follow Gary Vaynerchuk, Gary Vee. He's like a an author. And he's a business. Like he puts out a lot of business content. And he says, you know, he's talking about how there's a real trend towards more mental health awareness, right, which we know right? Mental Health Matters, all those hashtags. But also and that's, that's one of the reasons I started the recovering CEO. And that's why when I saw, you know, the Unashamed alcoholic, I'm like, Oh, my God, it's so cool. And there was another guy interviewed on my podcast and his, he started the podcast called The sober exec, which is kind of crazy. And it's actually a blog and stuff. And so let you know, maybe you can give me some advice, because I've been trying to put out content more on LinkedIn. Okay, so I feel like Twitter is Twitter, certainly, it allows you to sort more, right, so you get more specific alcoholics, and actually started a new Twitter account for my podcast. But then I've been putting on LinkedIn, and I just have a slight fear, because I feel like some people are gonna be like, Why are you talking about that here, we're trying to do business. And my feeling is that there's so many people in business, that are losing jobs, losing marriages, losing their families, and they never, because they never want to mention that they have an addiction, like, that's the last thing that come out, like, somebody will, will, like, go all the way to like losing their life. And they won't be like, shoot, you know, we didn't really realize he had a problem. And then it would come out later, oh, he had an addiction. I'm trying to bring it to the forefront, you know, and it's amazing how people reach out like, you know, I posted, I did a live stream on LinkedIn the other day, and people just reached out and said, hey, you know, I forwarded this to my buddy, and he's want to talk to you and this and that, you know? So how do you do that? Like, how do you? How do you spread your web? Like, you have a lot of downloads on your podcast? Like, what kind of was the catalyst to that? And then how do you manage social media and all that?

The Unashamed Alcoholic  19:05  
Yeah, no, I think what you're doing is, you can never do like, too many places. I think, you know, the more you can spread your message. I never even thought of LinkedIn. Like what a great and I hear what you're saying it's a really good link, link pun intended to what you're doing. I think that's a really good idea because you're going to reach a like totally different group of people there and, and, you know, again, putting it out there. A lot of the time you'll never know who you're reaching or how or what the impact is because a lot of people don't want and won't directly contact you and say Hey, thanks, this made a difference or you know, I like hearing this or whatever people just see it, and they might go and think about it or walk away with something or be quietly following you. You will never know how many people are truly being impacted by what you're doing. So just because like, you know, it's hard to tell or you can't, you know, the feedback you're getting might not be what you're looking for, or enough or whatever, don't stop because like it'll, there's there are people out there who are are hearing it for sure seeing it. And I think it just will quietly build wherever you're putting the message out there. You know, Twitter is, it can be like a huge cesspool of like terrible news, but I just kind of, I mean, it's coming up to it's probably like a year and a half, I've been on it now. And it's, it, it ebbs and flows. I really love the community, the sense of like the, you know, the recovery policy on there. I it is exhausting. A lot of the time though it is fresh can be frustrating, but it's always a place where I can say something that's going on promoting the podcast is one thing but as a place where I can, because I don't I don't just use it for like the say like the business side of things like with the podcast, I use it way more heavily for like my personal stuff. And you know, the My Account is, you know, back like the Unashamed alcoholic. I think it says podcast in my name, but But it's so weird, which is funny because like, it's much more heavily me as an alcoholic rather than just the podcast. So I really pepper a lot more of my personal stuff in which seems to create more engagement than anything else. People like to hear the real stories of your trials and tribulations, challenges in sobriety, and then the good stuff, people like to see that and they want to be able to offer support, or offer, congratulations, that's what I've really noticed, and which is wonderful, because when you have those moments of like, oh, like I just need, I just need some kind of someone to say it's gonna be okay. Or we'll get through this. It's there. And it's amazing. And I've had some really great moments on there. And I've, I've met people in real life, you know, from it, which is just crazy to me that I can like that that's happened more than once. One of them was at all notes concert in the States, you know, like it's just brought, it has the ability to bring people together, which again, the opposite of addiction is that that connection, right? That sort of that feeling of that you're not alone and that there's there's support, and there's other people who get it and are there for you and you know, who are maybe going through the same thing. It's a community and that's what I look for. That's what I use Twitter for I started Instagram. I hate it. It's too much like, I don't I think it might be my alcoholic addictive side. But like, I can't manage more than one. So I don't give a lot of attention to Instagram. I kind of have it as like, you know, to tag guests if needed, but like, like, I can't, I can't do more than just Twitter. Like it's just asking too much of me so but I I do really enjoy more than I thought I would the the connections that you can get out of the online presence.

The Recovering CEO  23:23  
Yeah. So tell me because you've interviewed a lot of, you know, pretty famous alcoholics. People are out there in the public sphere. What has been your favorite interview? Or which one would you recommend that like somebody needs to go listen to which episode and we could link to it from the show notes?

The Unashamed Alcoholic  23:40  
Yeah, that's a really good question. Honestly, I find that all of them are so unique. It's funny because they're, we all have something in common. But there's something so unique about each one to you know, where I feel like hey, like I'm talking to this really well known person but like we also have something in common which is just so hard to believe that you know, you can have something in common with someone who's who is so you know, a household name or whatever. You know, I have a I hate to I hate to go back to my my roots of like the hockey but you know, I had a conversation with Bobby Ryan that wasn't an episode but I talked about it on my own. And that was important for me personally because he's why I started talking about my story publicly. So he was an Ottawa Senators player, and it came out that he had gone away for to to seek help for his alcohol addiction and I just thought like if he can talk about this like and my still love him, like, why can't I talk about my story? And so I did, like through a series of events did start sharing it and I wanted to thank him so I harassed until he agreed to talk to me. It's not an official episode, but he did. Let me share that we'd spoken. So that was really important to me personally. And then Mark Parrish, who was also an NHL player. You just again, I started following him when he just newly shared a story. And I felt a connection to that, because you can see the vulnerability, and he's just such a nice guy. I don't know, nice guy hockey players who don't have teeth. Just speak to me. So, I mean, Mark story, everyone's story, Elizabeth Vargas, Mary Walsh, Deborah de Giovanni, like, I have these beautiful people who've shared their stories. So personally, and so vulnerably they all offer something different, it depends on what you're looking for. And and also, I think, you know, if you've seen them before, he had no idea they had, you know, an any kind of issue with addiction. Like, I think it just kind of opens a lot of doors to conversations like, oh, like, I had no idea. You know, I just think that there's so many episodes that each offer something different, something you said a minute ago, reminded me of, of Dr. Adam Hills, a story which was, you know, you're talking about people not feeling comfortable to share, were with their employer or colleagues or something, you know, and hiding that, and that's a huge part of being in the medical community is, you know, not revealing, you have an addiction. And, you know, his he talks a lot about that in his book, The long walk out of the woods. And he talks a lot about that in our conversation, right? Like that, that, you know, that that was a huge, and still is a huge hurdle to overcome, because you have to fill out these forms and check whether you're, you know, inactive addiction, or you're in recovery or whatever that may be, but that's that's used against you, right, like rather than, like, you know, a good thing that you've overcome and you're you know, you can relate to people and no, it's used against you so that's a really I mean, when you were talking about that immediately thought of him and in that conversation, so you probably can't link anything

The Recovering CEO  27:22  
said mental link to them all. Yeah, link

The Unashamed Alcoholic  27:24  
link to the back because the each one offers something so different. I can't even think of a favorite other than I liked that Mark Parrish wasn't didn't have his tooth in when we were.

The Recovering CEO  27:35  
Yeah, well, I actually have a good hockey player for you local guy here. I don't know if you know his name, but David Shand. Okay, is a hockey player and I can introduce you. Yeah, wonderful. That'd be great. He's obviously retired now, but he's, he would be a great interviewer. Wonderful. He's awesome.

The Unashamed Alcoholic  27:51  
Oh, wonderful. You know, hockey is like, I go to hockey games by myself. That's fine. Hockey is where it's why this started a hockey player. So like I, you know, I am, I'm always willing to talk to a hockey player. Well,

The Recovering CEO  28:06  
so Eric Lindros transferred, transferred to my high school. I said gym class with him. So I played volleyball with him at six hour. And he was ripped. He was 16 years old. And I was like a senior. He was a little younger than me, but he was just such an athlete. Yeah, you can see you can see it already. i Oh, my gosh, I know sad about his concussions. But um, alright, so Alright, so this is I mean, this is great. Like, I feel like so what is the evolution of the Unashamed alcoholic? You know, I actually think you do very well, on LinkedIn, there's, there are some people there, particularly women who are talking about like ADHD, autism awareness, different things, and they just get tons of followers because there's, I guess the people that will find you will find you right, and there's a lot of men out there. So they are raising awareness. So I encourage you to maybe try that. And we can connect on LinkedIn to so like, co promote, you know, I can share your stuff. But, um, what's next? I mean, do you ever think about turning it into a business? You know, so. And here's something again, I struggle with, like, so a right as non professional, right. But I also feel like, there's a couple things. One is, there's a lot of people that will never make it to a right. And there's a lot of other reasons people might need help, might need help on a spiritual path. Or this type of work that someone like URI, someone in recovery would do a lot of people that don't like meetings or won't go to meetings, you know, so I want to try and provide an alternate way to get in. Right. And it's, you could say it's promotion, but it's more like information. And then like your podcasts, for example, I can listen to your podcasts when I'm out for a run. That's wonderful. It's kind of like a meeting. You know, that's the thing with podcasts is they're great like that. So but what is next? Have you thought about the evolution or where do you want to take your unashamed alcoholic podcast?

The Unashamed Alcoholic  29:50  
Yeah, no, that's a really good question. I and I struggle with that a lot because I get frustrated when I you know, it's hard to get it interviewees or guests like I get turned down. Like I get really? I'm easily discouraged. I just like Raph Fine, I'll stop it. No, and then some of the whole bunch will come along at once. I don't know. You know, I, I wonder that a lot, but it's still so new, it'll only be two years in October. So it's, I feel like it's still new. And, you know, I get a good amount of downloads, but like, still not enough to, you know, interest, like any kind of sponsorship. And then you kind of go into like, sponsorship, well, how do you navigate, that sort of promoting something, I struggle with that kind of idea of like promoting something when it's supposed to be like, and maybe just conversations about, you know, something that you don't want to have a sponsor, you know, being promoted? I don't know, like, I haven't really gotten my head around that, then you get into legal things. And I just think, like, I can't even manage Instagram, like, I don't know what I can manage, like, anything more than the very basic what I'm doing right now. So, you know, I don't know, I really don't know, it's working right now. The way it is. You know, I think maybe if I was able to get, you know, a few really big name guests that could change the course of it. But at the same time, do I want the course changed? Or am I pretty comfortable the way it is now, I mean, it's, it's already a lot to manage, like we've talked about, like how podcasts are, you know, just doing one episode and the editing and everything that goes into the background work, it's, there's a lot into that. So for have it to go a lot bigger or any different than the way it is now. That would be a lot of work. Like I'm a mother, I have a I do I do have a job, you know, trying to balance other things in life. And, you know, this is sort of a side, still a little side thing. So I'm not sure what I want. I'm not sure what I want it to do yet.

The Recovering CEO  31:59  
Yeah, yeah. No, I hear you. And it's interesting, because, like, so I'm, I'm 49, right. And I started this and I would love to transition and have this make money, right? Because, you know, if I asked myself truly, where am I the happiest? It's really when I'm sharing the message. Yes. saying do you resonate with that? Yeah. So when I'm helping others when I'm sharing the message in and maybe I was born to be on Broadway or something, but I don't totally feel like that. But I like to talk right. And to you. Yeah. So like, we'd like to talk. We'd like to help others. Yeah, means a lot to win. Right? So how do I be of service? Right? So this is what I'm happiest. And I do believe and I've learned this, that if I don't do it, I'm happy doing then life is gonna suck, you know, and then I'm gonna go to always try and numb and escape and avoid my life because I don't like it. So. So how can I make this more a part of my life? And

The Unashamed Alcoholic  32:53  
I found I found like, I've I find, I found that and someone asked me a while ago, like, why do you feel the need to share everything that's so personal. And I just thought like, because it makes me feel good. Now and it's, it's like, it's all the since I started sharing about my alcoholism and recovery, and not being ashamed to talk about that, which I was for so long before, during and after. I just feel like, I feel like it's my purpose, which is sounds maybe silly, but like, I really feel like I'm meant to talk about this. And so, like, very similar to what I'm hearing you saying, like how can I? If, if that's the case, like, you know, what I need to I need to figure out like, what if I'm in the right place to be doing that right now? Is this the right I think it is the right outlet for now? Because like, I mean, look, you found me and we're having a conversation for your podcast now. So like, it does sort of, like trickle along, you know, and these little domino effects where you connect with other people and you share elsewhere and you know, it does make a difference I share my story through other on other people's meetings, and I go I am I'm a speaker through the Federal Government of Canada like to share my story. So it has kind of brought different opportunities. I just think I'm just gonna wait and see. I don't know about you, but that's that's my plan right now is just hope someone offers me a paying job.

The Recovering CEO  34:28  
Yeah, yeah. I've thought about going for like coaches training like the CTI and see where you can like learn to be a coach. You know, sober coach, life coach. I feel like there's a lot of people out there that need pep talks, you know?

The Unashamed Alcoholic  34:41  
Yeah. No, I mean, that's the thing. Like if I just feel like, you know, it was 40 Well, let's say 38 years of like, not talking about something or not knowing what I was supposed to be doing. And I kind of feel like this is I'm getting there. Like, I'm sort of this has helped. This has helped me figure out like, Okay, this, this feels right. This is where I feel most comfortable. This is where I feel like I can make a difference because I wondered for a long time, like, what am I doing with my life? Like, not just the drinking, but like, I feel like I'm making an impact. And now I hope I am somehow because I mean, I enjoy talking.

The Recovering CEO  35:23  
Yeah, yeah. So what else? What else? What else? Well, what else? What else? Would you like to tell our listeners today? I mean, I can't think of a good question. So is there any type of statement you'd like to tell or experience strength and hope you'd like to share?

The Unashamed Alcoholic  35:41  
Yeah, you know, I always like to go back to what I thought was kind of the end, you know, when I decided to stop drinking, it was like, Well, goodbye, fun. You know, like, I'll never see you again. And what's the point of ever going to a concert again, like that was, I distinctly remember thinking that, and because, you know, we talked a lot about the before. And I don't just mean you and I, you know, in general, we talk a lot about people's stories of, you know, before and how you hit rock bottom and all this stuff. But for me, I like to now focus a little more on the after, because I want really want people to see and that's what I try to say, when I overshare on Twitter all the time is like, I want people to see like, the other side of like, the after sight, like in sobriety like that life is actually a whole lot more fun. It's a lot better, more enjoyable, more authentic, you know, all these things that I never could have dreamed of, you know, and I said, I think I said it the other day, like if you told me, like five years ago that I wouldn't be able to go to a concert, alone and sober would have probably pushed you down a flight of stairs like bats, I would have just not even I would have totally out of my head and option. Never, never. And now, I'm going to do that tomorrow night for the second time in two weeks. Because why not? Like I love it. I can't don't have anyone to go with doesn't matter. I'll go by myself. You know, not gonna drink. Don't need it. Like now I fully know I don't need alcohol to have a good time. I'll have a way better time. Actually, I'll remember it. I'll not make a fool of myself. And I'll not vomit at the end of the night. Like when when you know. And so I always like people to know that there's something going to come it's gonna it's might not be at the beginning. It might you know, it might be really tough at the beginning, but life is waiting for you like a real fun fulfilling genuine life with real feelings that are sometimes awful. But it's still great. It's every day of this is better than any day drinking.

The Recovering CEO  37:55  
Yeah, I love your optimism. I think that's a consistent thread throughout your posts is sharing the optimism, which is super important, you know. And speaking of concerts real quick. So tonight, I told you I'm going to New York City. I'm gonna go to a phish concert. I don't know if you're aware of the band Phish PHS. Ah, yeah, yeah. And that is like that there. I've never seen so many drugs and alcohol. It's like crazy. But actually fish has a group called the Fellowship, which is for people who want to be enjoy, show sober. So at set break, there's actually like an AAA meeting. And it's called the fellowship. So it's not connected with AAA but they pass the L balloon. And so I'm going to see a lot of my friends there from around the country at the fellowship meeting. My last drink at a fish show 9096 at official was my that was my last drink. So I always tell that story. People like that. I love that. Yeah.

The Unashamed Alcoholic  38:48  
Wow. That's a really that's what a wonderful thing for for them to do. Again, it just makes it like, this is normal. This is fine. This is cool. Like, look, we're, we're we're supporting this or we're behind it, or we're part of it, whatever it may be. It's that kind of idea. Like people who have platforms can be like, hey, like, look what we've set up.

The Recovering CEO  39:08  
Yeah, yeah. Okay, well, so. So, Becca, I'm gonna see you on Twitter. I'm gonna keep retweeting your stuff and listening to your podcast. And maybe we could do this again, you know, we can pick a different topic and or maybe you can interview me, hint hint for your podcast someday. I don't know if I'm famous enough. But yeah. So I really, really appreciate you coming out today. You're wonderful to talk to and I really enjoyed your message.

The Unashamed Alcoholic  39:33  
Well, thanks for having me. Thanks for asking me. You had some really great questions I liked you know, just the chit chat. And yeah, for sure. I'll have you on and, you know, I wish you a wonderful time at a sober concert, which is, you know, a great thing to experience now.

The Recovering CEO  39:49  
I agree. Right? You can get high off the music, you don't need the drugs or the alcohol.

The Unashamed Alcoholic  39:53  
You know, like and that's the thing everything is so genuine and real. Now it's you know, when you feel that drummer, you know, it's just So amazing.

The Recovering CEO  40:02  
All right, well thank you and thanks to our listeners everyone have a good day.